March 2011
1 post
Elvis.
me: you are right about elvis presley. where did you hear of them?
Nitasha: obscure blogs you wouldn’t know
me: natch
January 2011
1 post
November 2010
5 posts
Quick $2
OKAY!
Top Five Measurements 1.) 6 inch 2.) 2 inches 3.) 15 ft 4.) 27 yards 5.) 1cm
I WIN.
So Inevitably There Will Be 1,000 Ironic Blog...
of Dunkin’ Donuts’ new Pancake Bites food-within-a-food foodstuff, which for some reason sounds waaaaay more innocent than it is (“sweet and savory bite-sized sausage links IN a maple flavored pancake,” so feel free to hire me for the job. I’ll take pics, pair it with Bailey’s Irish Creme straight-up, whatever, you know? I’m available to eat.
“So I don’t know if this is because of halloween, all the attention the...”
– From the Internet Forum “Brian Wilson Girlfriend?”
October 2010
4 posts
“My parents called after the show aired in Florida, and they called me and were...”
– http://www.bestweekever.tv/2010-10-27/exclusive-interview-jersey-shores-annabelle-desisto-reveals-the-situations-pick-up-line-can-you-just-shut-up-and-blow-me/
On hot tubs.
Sure, this interview was a while back now, but I started looking at B&B websites this morning, prompting me to think about hot tubs, which made me remember this Craig Robinson quote, which made me LOL.
The line, from the GQ interview:
“My current relationship with hot tubs is that I like to get a massage, get in the hot tub, and order food and alcohol.”
September 2010
2 posts
For whatever reason, most likely lack of human contact during the day hours, I find the Spam from some so-called Wine of the Month club so very charming and well-written.
I MEAN, THERE IS A “NOT” JOKE. And the S-P-E-L-L-I-T-O-U-T line? LOL. Though maybe this just means I need a hug? No judgments. Or if you’re a Crunch member, no judgements.
Dear Lauren Bans,
True ...
So working at home gets lonely and boring
today I took a picture of the salad I make for lunch every day and consume in about 3 minutes while watching the Daily Show rerun from the previous night. The salad is pre-washed arugula, pre-chopped onions, pre-shredded parmesan, and Peppercorn ranch, but let’s go back to the part where I wrote “today I took a picture of the salad I make for lunch every day”— it’s...
July 2010
1 post
Google Voice mistranslations deserve their own...
June 2010
2 posts
April 2010
1 post
Best Commentary Yet From Friend on Gmail Virus
” INTERNET STD! I caught it because a guy I liked who never called me back got it, and it sent me an email, and I was like “Finally, he got in touch!” and opened the email. So basically, I got the internet STD the way you get real life STDs, through looking for approval from jerk mens.”
March 2010
3 posts
Please put this on a graph Deliciousness vs. Perceived Racism.
Sometimes a betch just gotta fingerbang one out to Anne Lamott.
“I have loved men so much and am so afraid of what they will do to me. On bad days I think straight white men are so poorly wired, so emotionally unenlightened and unconscious that you must approach each one as if he were some weird cross between a white supremacist and an incredibly depressing T.S. Eliot poem. I know they...
November 2009
1 post
Watch“I will for the purposes of this video, chop this tomato, so you can see that I’m good with my knife.” -Cooking with Coolio.
October 2009
3 posts
September 2009
8 posts
August 2009
11 posts
Scratch off the appetizers and entrees that are most like dishes you’ve seen in many other restaurants, because they represent this one at its most dutiful, conservative and profit-minded. The chef’s heart isn’t in them.
Scratch off the dishes that look the most aggressively fanciful. The chef’s vanity — possibly too much of it — spawned these.
Then scratch off anything that mentions truffle...
Also, yuppies, no one is making you believe all the other weird sentiments that I sense inside this family of humor, like the idea that there is only a little time in life to have fun when you are young, and then you get older and you have a family and babies, which are VERY IMPORTANT but also NO FUN and you need to trade FUN things for IMPORTANT things as you age or, I don’t know what happens,...
July 2009
7 posts
I’ve never come across a bulimia story I didn’t read. I would read Frank Bruni’s twice though. He very well could be the first just-for-the-joy-of-food binge eater.
From Dahlia Lithwick
Today’s award for falsity goes to Sen. Lindsey Graham, who manages to both insult and patronize the nominee while promising in his sweet, porch-swing accent that he “likes her.” He tells her, “There are many positive things about you, and these hearings are designed to talk about the good and the bad, and I never liked appearing before a judge that I thought was a bully....
Holy Hasus, this has been a terrible week for black people. First, campers get kicked out of a private pool under the operating reason “they’re changing the complexion of the pool” (NICE CHOICE OF WORDS, dickbags). Then four guys start digging up graves at an historic African American cemetery in Chicago, selling off the already-sold plots like an ill-thought out graveyard...
