Also, yuppies, no one is making you believe all the other weird sentiments that I sense inside this family of humor, like the idea that there is only a little time in life to have fun when you are young, and then you get older and you have a family and babies, which are VERY IMPORTANT but also NO FUN and you need to trade FUN things for IMPORTANT things as you age or, I don’t know what happens, your dick falls off or something, I have no idea. I’ve just been hearing sentiments in that vein a lot lately: I had a cab driver on the way to the airport last month who was real chatty, and he was like ” Do you have any kids?” and I was like, “Aw man, fuck no, I’m too young for that shit!” and he was like “Ha ha, you’re really enjoying life, huh!” And then another time at work, this older woman co-worker of mine who is married and be-babied and stuff was like, “Enjoy life while you can.” And there is also, of course, every Judd Apatow film ever made (I have many words for Mr. Apatow and his weird vision of miserable compulsory heterosexuality, but that is a different blog entry). But anyway, both times people said those kind of things to me, in my head, I was like “Uh, I plan to always enjoy life because it is life! Wouldn’t it be scary to not enjoy life? Don’t you kind of want to kill yourself if you don’t enjoy life? I mean, really? ”
—My friend Gaby on the predominant philosophy of our household.
